Happiness & success are not destinations, they are lifestyles.
Life might not be long for me. It might not be long for you. It might be really long. My new goal, by the way, is to live past 100, but a healthy 100. Not a veggie 100. And I’m doing nothing right now to achieve that goal. I need to work out more and eat better. But I’ll get there.
My point to how long we live is I hear so many people tell me how once they get X, that is when they’re going be really happy. Or truly satisfied. Once so and so happens everything will be good. Once the kids are this old. Or out of the house. Once the divorce is finalized. Once I Make this much money. Once my business gets to this level. Then I’ll be satisfied. Then ill be happy. And here is why that’s not going to work.
Happiness and success are not destinations. If you have a set marker to achieve before your successful or happy –it never going to happen for you. Not that you won’t achieve that marker…its just that will move. You won’t feel different when you hit it, you are just going to move your target. That’s what everyone does and what everyone says. Happiness and success, those are lifestyles. They are not destinations. It’s the journey dummy not the X on the map.
If you can’t enjoy your kids until they’re a certain age, then, in my opinion, you’re a jerk. Man up and enjoy what’s in front of you. Quit focusing on what you don’t like and FIND the things you do like.
A Dad ought to be an optimist. Looking for the good in everything so he can lead his family better. If Dad is miserable and negative, mom and the kid are going to follow suit. If Dad is upbeat and positive, they are going to follow suit. You lead them where ever you want to lead them, I know where I am going to led mine.
And I’ll put money on this. If you can’t be happy right now, in whatever stage of life you are in, you’ll never be happy. Because status and possessions won’t change it. If you can’t be happy when you’re broke, don’t expect that to change when you have some cash. If you can’t be happy in your current house don’t expect that to change in the next house. If you can’t be happy in this job, it probably won’t change with the next job. Make your happiness, or lack thereof your fault, your responsibility and the world changes big time.
I’ve been living my freaking dream for years now. None of my dreams was financial. At least not my high school dream. I’ve got very little to complain about. I wrote Rhyan a letter in high school telling her what I wanted in life. Kids. A marriage that didn’t fall apart. A home. Basically, a super stable boring love filled life. I also wanted to trade commodities in NYC, but I settled for dealing coffee and Snacks in Fl with no complaints.
2013 I’ve got the girl. I’ve got kids. I’ve got home. I’ve got a bankruptcy attorney on the phone and a tiny failing business that somehow was spending more than it makes. I’m still happy. It’s tough. Tons of anxiety over the business and financials. But Rhy and I even talked about that. We said worst case scenario we’re 26 years old. We go bankrupt. Lose everything. Start over at 26 smarter than I was before. We still love each other we still love the kids. I can always mow lawns to make some cash. But life is still good. We just got to figure out this financial screwup.
The truth is in the last 12 year there have been only 2 times where I felt truly unhappy. And was waiting for something to happen. And both those times were periods in our marriage that I thought Rhyan was gonna bail on me. It was hard to find happiness when I thought I was losing the girl I literally do everything for. So, I do get the struggle being unhappy, hell downright miserable. And in those dark times, it feels like there is no coming out of it. But man, if you can, and you should, life on the other side of misery is really nice. That dark place —-it really helps you appreciate the good times.
I understand some situations are a lot tougher than others. If you can find happiness, enjoy where you are at this very moment. You are already a winner. And as you climb the ladder of life it just makes you appreciate where you are more and more. As opposed to chasing a constantly changing target.
I don’t want anyone getting the wrong idea. I still complain about plenty, but my outlook is all positive. I can address the reality in the room and think everything tomorrow will be wonderful and good.
Feel free to submit stories and thoughts to Townsend@TownsendRussell.com and of course Find us everywhere:
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I am Townsend Russell with 100% DAD.
We’re preaching over here for Dads to step up, be real men, and real leaders of their homes.